I dreamt of Grandma

Today is the 7th day since Grandma left me. Dad is offering prayer for her later. I dreamt of Grandma last night. i remembered i had a little kid with me and grandma was with her sisters. She smiled and clapped her hands. She looked happy. i wish she is.

Ah jia, today i bought Fillet O Fish and Fries for u from Mcdonalds. On your birthday 9th June, i will buy you a hawaiian pizza. Hope u like it.

I hope what u are telling me in the dream is true. u are happy in wherever u are now. Take care Ah Jia

Grandma's last moment

Dad was with Grandma on her last moment. Grandma was physically weak. What happened.... dad ask her if she wants to eat some porridge she said no. Then dad said he wants to go home already and ask grandma if she wants to eat again. Grandma say yes. Dad fed her, after that her eyes rolled up and dad told her to hang on as my aunty is on her way back. Grandma then laid down on her bed, had difficulty in breatheing and then she went.

i went to her wake. i din like the looks of her. the people dress her nicely, did make up for her so that she looked her best but i dun like it. i prefer my old grandma. i prefer my AH JIA!

My sister and i cried badly. Sister was worse than me. i controlled myself a lot cos i had miagraine and wanted to throw up badly. seeing that its difficult for my sister to drive back i find excuses to go to Aljunied to cheater's place. i drove home when my heart was hurt and beating fast cos i took the miagraine pills

i cant sleep last night too. despite i took the miagriane pills and half a sleeping pill. i m too jurt and grieving badly. Yesterday is just the first night. i have more days and nights to go without my Ah Jia around. Although u guys can ask me to be strong and i agree but the pain and hurt will always b there which i do not want to show out.

Ah Jia, i wish u are happy. pls bless all of us! i really miss u a lot.

Grandma's funeral

Details of Grandma's Funeral is out :
Her body will be put at the Multi Purpose Hall near Blk 129 Bukit Merah View and the Multi Storey Car Park.

Funeral : She will leave us on 28 May 2007 at 2.45pm.

A big thank you for those who were comforting me and asking me about the funeral, Annissa, Frances, Desmond, SQ, Henry Wong, Puah , Queenie, Sylvie, Raihan, Edwin, Weiting, Jonathan, Peter Coleman, and anyone whom i accidentially left out. i am having headache but have a lot of work to do!

Grandma has passed away

I have received news about Grandma's death around 1157 hours. Funeral details not out yet.

i got up today feeling weird. my head was very painful and heavy. its worse than miagraine. i told my colleague, Jimmy, i need red bull. i just went to the ladies around 1157 when i came back i had 1 missed call, 1 sms. my sister sms me to tell me grandma is dead. mum called me also informing me that.

Today - 25 May 2007 ends the day that grandma has suffered in pain. i know she will leave after tues but never know when. Saw her on Wed evening and was not sure she knows i was there visiting her. she wanted to tell me something but i never know what she was talking about. Wanted to visit her tomorrow morning after hearing from mum that she was not good yesterday. But who knows, the next time i see her, she is on the death bed ie coffin.

i will have to say i miss u grandma, thanks for taking care of me when i was young and staying with u at bukit merah view. i will never get to greet u again, Ah Jia. Till we meet again, pls take care. Ah Jia, i really missed your touch and love. bye.

Grandma

Today is MONDAY. Grandma pulled thru to today! Thank to my friends who prayed for me and asked me how is grandma. Frances, Ah Jon, Weiting, Jimmy, SQ, Henry Wong, Rox, Annissa, and so on all asked about grandma. My parents are back tonight. i guess they will visit grandma tomolo morning. I din visit grandma over the weekend as i was not feeling well. had fever and bad flu. poor me have seen doc twice.

Let's hope Grandma pull thru till end of this year........

SSO Casual Concert

I brought Cheater and Mingli to a SSO Casual Concert yesterday. It was Amanda Low performing on the violin. This gal is very young but very talented. It is also Cheater and Mingli's first time to attend such a concert. i thought i had got nice seats but sad...... its the front row. they cant see the instruments.

Amanda only perform one piece. V V V V V V disappointing. Amanda was very nervous thru her body language. i must say she really performed very well. her strokes are beautiful. Despite her fingers are small, she move her fingers very fast and swift. she played beautifully with great confidence. If only Ming Li or Wen can be like that, it will be superb.

i din let Lynette Seah's performance neither. i always dun like her performing cos she is v drama. On the whole it was a fun experience but i shall never park at esplanade anymore. cost me $8.50 to park yesterday when i only left the car there for 3 hours. Esplanade really ROB MY $.

Grandma

Yesterday after dinner, i walked to Bugis to catch a bus home. But sudden urge just want to eat dessert so Cheater and i went to the usual shop that we frequent at Liang Seah Street. That was around 8pm. Started eating and aunty sms me. "When are your parents back?"
i replied " Monday night around 7.30pm. y?"
She replied me "Grandma condition is bad."
i replied "Do you want me to call them back?"
She replied me " No need."

I sms Rosie, i told her aunty said grandma condition is bad. if need be i can make arrangement for my parents to come back. Rosie called me to find out what happen. Then she called aunty. Rosie called me later to say grandma is visited by the hospice nurse and was told that her blood pressure is low. Be prepared that she can go. Hospice doc gave grandma Morphine. Grandma also need oxygen tank to breathe.

i have a few regrets if grandma leaves now.
1) not yet a head of dept
2) not married yet
3) not a VP yet
4) din show grandma my car and what i have achieved.

Grandma is already 87........ sigh......... she is already senile. She has suffered for 4 years. She must be in pain.

When i reached home, i read my email. Aunty said that the SGH doc ask her to bring grandma home and prepare for her demise. WHY DIN AUNTY TELL THE TRUTH TO MUM ON TUES!!!!!! Mum only said that grandma has lung infection thats y they went to China for holiday.

now when all things dun look good then start to ask question when will my parents be back?! WHY CANT EVERYONE SPEAK THE TRUTH AND LET PEOPLE DECIDE? WHY IS THERE TONS OF PROBLEMS AT HOME? When grandma dies then everyone start to fight for the $ is it?????????? i dun want a single cent. i hate all the problem caused by everyone in the family. They dislike me cos i am the 2nd gal born to my parents. I studied normal stream they think i am not smart.

Called my parents this morning and let them decide whether to return or not. initially yes but now no. i guess dad will also be upset that it will be a christian funeral after all. Grandma accepted christ when she is not of a sound mind. That's so unfair.

Pls pray for my grandma.... hope that she can pull thru till tues.

i feel v frustrated

i dun know y yesterday around 5pm i feel very moody, frustrated and v upset. just had to leave office to breathe some air. i walk to chinatown to take a bus to see grandma. not to save $ but i had some things to settle at raffles place. grandma din recognise me. keep asking me what date is today. she asked if it is sunday. according to grandma's maid, grandma did not sleep last night. after talking a while to grandma, she fell asleep. i then left went home. On my way back, i felt very moody, frustrated. i knew i just need tons of rest and sleep. when can i find such a time to do these things?????????????????

i also din know raihan's brother was in hospital becos of lungs problem. surprisingly we bumped into each other at SGH's lobby. First question we asked each other, WHAT ARE U DOING HERE? hope his brother have a speedy recovery.

Grandma is discharged today.

Yesterday lunch time i filed a report against SFA 3274! U BETTER WATCH OUT HOR. i already reported u. i can do anything to my car now AND CLAIM AGAINST U. I HATE U FOR LIFE AND U ARE THE PERSON I AM GG TO BE SUPER PISSED WITH FROM NOW. U ARE MY GREATEST ENEMY AND I WILL NOT LOVE U. NO WAY TO LOVE THIS ENEMY! U BETTER DUN BANG INTO MY GOOD FRIENDS OR MY SISTER!

Today is a busy day for me. just attended 1 training session and 2 more meetings to go. Need to visit Puah later. he has an operation to fix his heart. no news on his operation yet. i will keep on praying for him.

Why are my posting not posted?

i wrote my blog at home for the past 2 days but i never see it posted! ARGH..... mayb i should get a new laptop. i will try again later if not i will change my laptop

1) Flea Market Experience
HEHE on sat i did my first flea market all thanks to Shinta for giving me the opportunity. i just have a lot of things to get rid. there are too many clothes that i do not wear. they are taking too much space in my wardrobe!!!!!! i wanted to sell at $2 but petrina want me to sell at $3. sold 2 at $3 and 8 pieces at $2. luckily cheater came early to the flea market. i left around 4.30pm. shinta, frances, petrina stayed on..... it rained around 5pm, the gals were drenched. oh no...... m i lucky to leave earlier? anyway i do not like the thought of doing a flea market in the open area. IT IS REALLY HOT!!!!!!!!!!!

2) Accident
met a car accident on sunday. STUPID TOYOTA PICNIC HIT ME! i am in the lane to turn into century square car park. this STUPID SFA3274 HIT MY RIGHT MIRROR. HALO NRIC NO S1777177I, IF U DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE PLS GO BACK TO THE DRIVING SCHOOL! DO NOT BE A HAZARD ON THE ROADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM IN THE LANE AND U WANT TO SQUEEZE IN? U SIAO OR BEING NASTY? THE CAR IS ONLY24 DAYS OLD! U BETTER WATCH YOUR WAY. SAY WHAT THIS IS VERY COMMON? COMMON TO U LA BUT NOT TO ME. IDIOT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO ALL road users, pls be ware of this vehicle no SFA3274, this toyota picnic is a reckless driver. u can be in the lane and he can hit u from the side. this kind of drivers should get their license revoked. and becos of this stupid idiot driver, i got ill with a gastric attack.
if anyone of u see him pls stare at him. STUPID MAN. no sense of responsibility. drive family in the car and can be so reckless. also din stop once he hit me.

i must apologise to Rosie and Andrew for not informing them of the accident. i must think Darryl, edwin, edmund for their advise.

3) Grandma in hospital
grandma is in A&E since last night. CT scan show that she has a tumour. pls pray for grandma.

Things are not smooth. grandma is in hospital again

i m super tired

Grandma

Grandma is out of hospital yesterday. Rosie told me that aunty said grandma is very sleepy.

Today i sms Rosie to ask her to ask aunty what's the result of grandma's lung cancer test. i hope its NEGATIVE. Cancer is no joke. Cheater's dad died of lung cancer. Mei Lien has breast cancer and might have spread to her liver and bone - not sure. din ask Ngak Kee anymore. i really dun like the feeling of being told someone has cancer.

PLS PLS Grandma, pls fight on and be brave. Live till the day when u can see Wen get married. haha..... FYI Wen is only 15 years old. Grandma is 87 this year! still a hope right?

My New Hairdo

Hee hee, i went to monsoon's main branch at novena square yesterday to redo my hair. my curly hair were gone. taking the 49% discount that monsoon now offer to their customer, i went to rebond my hair. Cos Cheater say my hair looks v aunty if i perm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :@



For the first time i did my rebond in less than 3 hours. usually it take 5!!!!!!!! and i also feel the difference between high class hair salon and the middle class. The lady who did my rebond is Addy Lee's assistant (Addy Lee is Monsoon's boss). She is v detailed, fast and wat can i use to describe her? Anyway just BEST, SUPERB. Raymond my usual hairstylist since Sept 2004 cut it v neatly too. i never doubt the way he cut my hair. a trust i always put on him. but this time i think this blur sotong man forgot to cut my hair in V shape!!!! must question him later this mth when i do my colour.



i was not v happy when raymond ask me to cut off my fringe but i never doubt his professionalism. i let him cut. initially dun get use to it after i left the salon, i think its pretty. haha That's the new me..... what do u think ???? Cheater say i look like a doll. Jonathan ask y i cut like that. Not nice meh????????????????????????????



i strongly recommend everyone to go to monsoon's novena square branch to cut. v v v v comfortable place and cheap with the promotion going on.

Why is $ forever not enough????????

i have this problem, i always feel $ is not enough! WHY????????????????????????????

My Dearest Wen

My cousin, Wen is my beloved since the day she was born. i brought her to yamaha school and taught her piano. i am kinda of sad that she has turned to be disrespectful and v ya ya papaya. I wished this gal has the fighting spirit like aunty. but she dun have. she have the laid back and cant be bothered attitude and always do things at the last min. When can she grow up and change?

Mum commented that she has slimmed down. A bit lar...... but not too much. She is born with the "fat" genes. She has put on trememdous weight since 6 years old. What can u ask for?? No matter how much she has slim down, she still has the fat and chubby face. a trademark in the Chan family.

My dear gal, pls change your attitide and follow your mum's traits and fighting spirit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grandma is discharged

This morning i was dreaming of some no.... there is a big list...... my sister sms me!!!!!!!!! i forgot my no!!!!!!!!!!! only remembered 1778 and 5555. ROSIE, Y DO U ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME? i have to give u the lucky no to win...... anyway it was a good sms. Grandma is discharged today!!!!!!! :)

Yesterday, i went to hospital, there was a doc who took 2 tubes of blood out from Grandma. And she has a form with her on survey for lung cancer! LUNG CANCER????????? Desmond emailed me yesterday morning b4 i went to see Grandma, saying his grandma died of lung cancer years back. pls lor i dun want grandma to have lung cancer and no need desmond to frighten me.

Anyway at night, i asked mummy. she said doc was doing test on grandma to check if she has lung cancer.

Was quite surprised that grandma can b discharged so early. She really looked frail and tired. Grandma asked me yesterday when did i fly back to Singapore. i din understand and said "HUH?" She then asked me when did i fly back from Australia. i was blurred. i came back in 2001!!!! so i said "Oh, v long already". Grandma also needed familiar faces to feed her. Yesterday i fed her with porridge and she ate half the portion of what the hospital has served her.

Let's pray for Grandma's health. Though she will never be fit and alert, at least not that frail and tired.

Update : grandma was not discharged. she vomitted after eating lunch. Doc got to keep her for another day. Let's hope she can be discharge tomorrow.